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| Page 1 of the gray journal |
The Story and Symbolism of the Painting
So I made this painting in my gray journal thing. Trying something new. Blue birds with sharp, mean looking beaks and talons all around a skull and a fire. The fire is supposed to be, like, fear, and the birds are the constant surveillance. The whole point is that living in a society where you are always judged builds up in your body. It makes your throat tight, your breath shallow, your heart race. You feel frozen, helpless, like you're dying a million little deaths just from existing under all that pressure. But painting this helps. Like, by making this abstract panic into something I can actually look at (a bit metal i guess?), I can kinda move past it. Externalize the fear. So yeah. Very existential dread. I guess, if you're into that whole "quiet despair" thing. Personally, I movrd on to playing chess and kinda spend all my time drawing chessboards now, but whatever. Anyway, it was a good exercise 💅✨